Rolling Out the Gains

My back and glutes were screaming after today's heavyweight championship, so I needed some serious gym recovery. I marched over to the low beverage stash and hauled a chilled metal soda can right onto the living room rug. I tipped that frosty cylinder sideways, dropped flat onto the carpet, and wedged it right under my lower back like a miniature foam roller! Pushing off with my heels, I rolled back and forth, letting out an agonizing, dramatic groan that turned into a noisy burp. That cold aluminum hit the exact sweet spot. Even the baddest space gladiators gotta roll out their thunderous cheeks before bedtime!