Axe-Shield Juggernaut

An axe tied to a shield—ultimate combo challenge accepted! I scrambled onto the low coffee table under the warm floor lamp to assemble the ultimate hybrid! Shield base: a thick round cork coaster! For the axe handle: a notched wooden craft stick! And for the blade: a flat, angled silver bottle opener wedge! I pressed the wooden shaft tight across the back of the cork disc, snatched a stretchy red elastic hair tie, and wound it round and round in tight figure eights until both pieces fused solid! One unit! I slipped my forearm straight through the elastic loops, planted my feet, and threw a fierce test-bash into an empty tissue box! WHAM! Solid thud, zero wobble! Ultimate combo achieved!