Championship Weigh-In

I marched straight through the doorway and planted both boots onto the chilly ceramic tiles! HALT! It was time for our mandatory pre-match weigh-in and somatic density evaluation! I hoisted little Larkchop onto the cool, sleek glass platform of the digital floor scale, gripped the bevelled edge, and threw my entire heavyweight momentum onto the sensor plate. WHOOOOO! The little screen blinked, calculated my raw championship power, and coldly declared: 0.0! Clinically speaking, the patient exhibits zero gravitational baggage and peak psychic buoyancy. Larkchop squeaked in non-judgmental solidarity. We have officially qualified for the phantom-weight division, and my therapist is thrilled with this emotional lightness!