The Foam Wrestler

Strong doesn't even begin to cover it! To prove my mighty elf power, I went hunting for the heaviest challenger in the hallway. Right beside the closet door stood a thick, rolled-up purple yoga mat, standing straight up to my waist like a squishy giant. I charged forward on all fours and threw both arms around its rubbery middle to wrestle it down! The heavy roll wobbled and tipped, taking me along with it in a clumsy tumble onto the rug—whump! I immediately scrambled on top, locking my legs around the spongy cylinder and pinning it flat against the floor. It didn't stand a chance against my championship hold!