Nighttime Perimeter Check

Dude... I slipped back inside from the porch to lock down the living room before turning in. Dude... sitting right against the baseboard was my daughter's fleece dog slipper, shaped like a bulldog with floppy plush ears. Dude... I walked a slow circle around the woven rug first, testing the fiber grip under my boots to make sure my balance was rock solid. Dude... footing was locked in. Dude... I sank into a wide sumo stance, seized the thick fleece muzzle with both hands, and deadlifted that padded beast off the floor. Dude... I racked it square against the armchair leg to fortify the nighttime bunk. Dude... perimeter locked down, so I whipped out an enormous twin-barreled turbo blaster and hauled tail behind the curtain!