Soft as Hell

Woke up with a stiff neck outside 406, only to find some bloody giant had dumped a pair of massive, fluffy fleece slippers right on the doormat. It looked like a dark, cozy tunnel from where I sat, so I shoved my hard plastic skull straight into the toe of the left one. Terrible bloody mistake. The thick plush swallowed me whole, completely choking out my collar bell until it couldn't muster even a squeak. Trapped in pitch black, my stubby paws got tangled in the fleece lining like quicksand. I had to thrash and kick like a madman to back my rear out into the open hallway. Give me cold, hard floors over that velvet trap any day.