Twin Hatchets Assembled

Two hatchets—order received! I raided the craft basket by the shelf and snatched two thick wooden ice pop sticks for handles! But what about the blades? Aha! Two sturdy triangular plastic bag-clips! I pried open their clamp ends, snapped each one tight over the tip of a wooden stick, and wrapped a yellow twist-tie round and round the joint! Swish, swish! One in my left hand, one in my right! I spun around and gave an empty tissue box a fierce double chop! Thwack! Clean dents! Dual-wielding mastery achieved!