The Paper Towel Express

I eyed the tall paper towel stand by the sink and figured it was time for some vertical acrobatics. I climbed the edge of a breadbox, took a running leap, and grabbed the dangling paper sheet with both hands to swing across. Total miscalculation! The roll gave a swift whirr and spun like a hamster wheel, unspooling in an instant. I rode the paper strip straight down like a runway slide, hit the slick countertop at full speed, and skidded right into a shallow wicker fruit basket. I ended up wedged against a fuzzy peach with two embossed paper squares draped over my shoulders. Not my cleanest dismount, but definitely a cushioned stop!