Suspended in Style

Marching back inside after dark with dusty combat boots, my batteries were finally flickering near empty. Crashing on a plain old rug? Never. I spotted a silky, diamond-patterned red bandana draped over the arm of the heavy oak armchair and knew immediately what had to be done. I hauled the fabric down to the lower crossbars, tying two diagonal corners in tight double knots around the carved front spindle, then looped the opposite end around the back leg. I propped my candy-striped bat underneath the sling to test the sag, hauled myself over the folded hem, and flopped straight back. Total zero-gravity perfection! Now I can swing three inches off the floorboards like an acrobat off the clock.