Spiderman checks the perimeter

The chilly evening breeze finally chased me off the balcony, so I slipped back inside onto the living room rug. Resting right beside a heavy wooden table leg was a sleek black television remote, angled like an inclined ramp. Obviously, an engineer can't just walk past sixteen rubber buttons waiting to be stress-tested. I scrambled up the smooth plastic casing and hopped straight onto the raised volume rocker. Throwing my full weight into a two-footed stomp, the soft rubber gave a muffled click beneath my boots. Instantly, a cool blue glow flashed from the screen across the room, bathing the carpet in prime nighttime lighting. Tactical perch activated!