The Heavyweight Test

I marched straight into the bathroom to check my official evening heavyweight stats. Right on the cool tile floor sat a sleek glass digital scale. I waddled up, grabbed the rim, and hauled my chunky tummy up onto the platform. I stomped both paws down with maximum swagger, waiting for big numbers to pop up! The screen flashed a glowing blue light, but it stubbornly held at flat zeros. I bounced on my heels and threw all my round raccoon weight into a mighty press, but the display just blinked once and went to sleep. Fine by me—that just proves a boss like me moves totally weightless. Hello and goodbye!