Tinted Upgrade

Staying cooped up indoors was threatening to ruin my complexion, so I slipped out behind a postal worker and marched down to the pocket park. Right across the weathered wooden bench sat a forgotten pair of chunky, amber-tinted sunglasses. Leaving luxury eyewear to rot in the elements seemed criminal. I hauled the frame upright with both yellow mittens, wrestled the bridge onto my snout, and hooked one tortoiseshell arm snugly around my left ear to keep it from sliding. The entire morning instantly shifted into a dramatic, golden thriller. Lounging against the backrest with my feet kicked out, I finally look every bit as intimidating as I feel.