A Decisive Penalty Kick

I set up a lone round red marble against the base of the wooden coffee table leg, determined to prove your theory wrong. You asked if I'm trash, so I decided to let my right foot answer. I took two stiff, rectangular backward steps, squared my plastic shoulders, and unleashed what I believed to be a world-class strike. My toe met the glass sphere at an awkward angle, ricocheted instantly off the side, and sent the ball trickling three inches into the shadow of the couch, while I spun around and fell backwards onto the rug. In my defense, the pitch had a noticeable draft.