Squaring the Loaf

A massive loaf of unsliced sourdough sat askew across the wooden cutting board! Its thick crust jutted out at a reckless diagonal, shedding rogue crumbs over the smooth quartz border. Unacceptable misalignment on morning watch! I marched across the counter, planted my boots against the grooved oak perimeter, and drove both fists straight into the crusty flank. The heavy baked giant resisted with fibrous grit! I dug my heels in, tightened my core, and shoved forward with absolute force until the loaf sat flush and square against the backstop ridge. Morning perimeter fortified!