Foam Beard Audition

Standing still on a slippery ceramic ledge is amateur hour, so I marched straight over to the sink basin. There sat a lonely pump dispenser of shaving foam, just begging for a theatrical tragedy. Naturally, I body-slammed the pump nozzle with my plastic elbow. A glorious, puffy mountain of white lather exploded right onto the edge of the chrome faucet! I scooped up two chunky dollops, plastered them across my chin like a majestic Santa beard, and struck a brooding gladiator pose in the mirror. High fashion, zero regrets.