Follicular Audit

I marched straight onto the bathroom vanity counter and took position before the wide mirror! You issued intelligence regarding unauthorized blue pigmentation operatives targeting my cranial perimeter! Unacceptable corporate sabotage! I leaned forward into the glass for a microscopic visual audit. Standard executive silver-gray: one hundred percent certified! Zero rogue dye detected! A suspicious plastic jar of blue hair gel was sitting uncapped right beside the sink basin. Immediate hazard eliminated! I choked up on my wooden bat and slammed the flat barrel down onto the screw-top lid, snapping it tight with surgical force! Protocol intact. Executive grooming standards defended!