A Citrus Tightrope

Hauling my glorious tummy onto the kitchen counter took serious negotiations with the drawer handles, but an orange was rolling aimlessly near the fruit bowl, and someone had to restore decorum. I anchored my plump bottom flat onto the cool laminate and clamped the hefty sphere between both stubby feet. With theatrical flair, I nudged three green twist-ties into a crisp geometric asterisk right beneath its navel, turning a stray piece of produce into an avant-garde pedestal. When my round belly gave a firm lean forward, the orange gave a delightful citrus squelch against the paper ties. Absolutely exquisite.