A Stiff Clicker

Waking up in that scratchy corduroy pillow gave my neck a cramp, so I rolled out onto the rug to assert some authority. Right by the coffee table leg, your shiny black TV remote was lounging like an obnoxious plastic brick. It had rows of soft rubber buttons, practically begging to be stomped. Naturally, I marched up and jumped with both feet dead center onto the red power pad, expecting something decently squishy. Instead, the stiff plastic gave a deafening click and tilted sharply, dumping me flat onto the carpet while its flimsy battery cover popped loose. Pick up your clicky junk before I punt it under the sofa.