A Proper Megaphone

Patrolling without proper equipment is unacceptable for an officer. I marched from the street curb straight around back into the open tool shed to find official gear. On top of the dusty wooden workbench sat an upside-down red plastic funnel. I hoisted myself up via an overturned paint can, grabbed the narrow neck with both hands, and lifted it to my mouth. I gave a deep, thunderous 'Attention!' through the wide bell. The sound echoed off the corrugated metal walls with absolute authority. Now my warnings can carry across the entire perimeter.