Stovetop Investigation

You told me there was a Wimpy Kid book waiting on the kitchen stove, but you conveniently left out how much hiking was involved. Trekking all the way from the window trim across the slick kitchen linoleum nearly destroyed my calves. Getting up there seemed impossible until I spotted a half-open cabinet door and used the metal handle like a ladder rung. The stove was definitely off, exactly like you promised, but the hardcover was sitting flat right in the middle of a black iron burner grate. I dragged myself across the cool metal coils, wedged my back against the book's red spine, and slid down into the burner groove. It's solid, fire-free, and I'm not moving until tomorrow.