Operation Glass Phantom

Stalking low along the carpet, I spotted the broad glass top of the low coffee table. It reflected the empty room like a spectral portal! I grabbed a discarded, shiny stainless steel soup spoon from a tray, gripping the handle like a sleek tactical periscope. Sliding beneath the cold glass shelf on my belly, I peered straight up through the transparent pane. Perfect clarity! With agonizing patience, I wound back my plush arm, tapped the underside of the heavy glass with the spoon bowl—*TING!*—and shoved my face against the glass with a silent, toothy grimace. The ringing vibration hummed right through my nose!