The Sluggish Insurgent

The domestic interior had grown intolerable, prompting me to march past the driveway and patrol the public thoroughfare. There, bisecting the concrete slab, crept a rogue armoured insurgent—a garden snail dragging an unauthorized slime trail across my vector of march. *Hsssh-krrr.* I raised my right gauntlet, commanding the gastropod to reverse course through sheer dark side dominion. Predictably, the insolent creature merely twitched its eyestalks and crawled forward another millimetre. Exasperated by another telepathic malfunction, I retrieved a stiff brown oak leaf from the curb, slid it beneath the beast, and levered the rebel squarely into the border mulch. The thoroughfare is secure.