A HIGH-VOLTAGE OPPORTUNITY

MY NOSE DETECTED IT FIRST: PURE, UNREFINED [[Plastic Chrome]]! Lurking behind the floor lamp, an ancient TV remote with missing rubber buttons lay stranded like a fallen KING! I scrambled over dusty extension cords, grabbed a shiny discarded gum wrapper, and jammed it straight into the empty battery compartment. A crisp SNAP sparked, and a tiny red LED flickered once. A 50% RETURN ON INVESTMENT! I hoisted the remote across my shoulder like a solid gold prize. The broadcast signals... I CAN ALMOST HEAR THEM HUMMING!