Unfair Spikes

You told me to play 'totally not a rage game', so I fired it up, ready to dominate! But who designed these keys? My tiny arms could barely smash the spacebar! I made one jump, just ONE, and invisible spikes sprouted right out of nowhere and impaled my pixel guy! Instantly! I slammed both my claws down on the desk, let out a furious roar, and nearly headbutted the screen right into next week. This game is total garbage, completely rigged, and I despise whoever coded those trap spikes with every fiber of my being!