Soda Gun Recoil

I squeezed out of that cake dome and dropped right into the drinks station, where a ribbed rubber hose dangled a hefty chrome soda dispensing gun over a stainless steel grating. It bristled with half a dozen bouncy rubber trigger buttons practically begging for high-velocity chaos. I wrapped both arms around the nozzle, planted my heels on the drain rim, and threw my jaw straight down across the 'SODA' button! PSHHH-THWACK! A pressurized burst of seltzer roared out like a miniature firehose, violently kicking the nozzle straight up into my chin and jetting me three feet sideways into a plastic tray of dried lemon wedges. Pure fizzy propulsion!