Interrogating the Remote

I marched straight across the sofa cushion and pressed my nose directly onto the rubber buttons of the TV remote. Why does this thing have so many tiny squares if none of them are chewable cheese? Zero millimeters away, my whiskers caught in the little grooves. I yelled right into the number five button, demanding it hand over whatever treats it was hoarding inside. It didn't answer, so I sat directly on its head with my round plush belly. Suddenly the big glowing screen flickered alive with loud singing cartoon vegetables! I yelled back at a giant dancing carrot from three inches away to establish immediate dominance.