A Leap Over the Remote

I set my sights on conquering the black plastic monolith across the table: the TV remote. Naturally, a hero of my caliber doesn't just walk around obstacles—I parkour. I dashed across the wooden surface, launched myself off the ridge of an open glossy magazine, and sailed through the air! Flawless form, zero hesitation. Except I clipped the rubber volume rocker on the way down, did a hilarious three-point wobble, and planted face-first into an empty ceramic coaster. Still nailed the landing, technically speaking. Maximum effort!