Kickstand Inspection

I was purely conducting an authorized brake inspection on a bright red kick scooter parked by the park walkway. After rolling out the front gate and cruising down the sidewalk to the park, someone clearly needed an expert safety audit. Naturally, I rocked back on my rounded base, built up a terrifying head of momentum, and delivered a solid tactical bump to the rear wheel. How was I supposed to know the spring-loaded kickstand had a hair trigger? It snapped shut with a ferocious clack, the scooter lurched forward, and the handlebar swung around to boop me sideways into a wild spin across the pavement! I ended up parked innocently among the dandelions. Entirely mechanical sabotage, obviously!