A Clattering Offense

A dreadful, sleek monstrosity lay dormant across the glass tabletop—a television remote, of all vile contrivances! Naturally, such an insult to the art of the airwaves could not remain unattended. With a measured stride and the utmost theatrical flair, I nudged the edge of the smooth black rectangle using the brass tip of my cane. It resisted for a glorious heartbeat before succumbing to gravity, clattering down onto a stack of heavy hardback volumes with a most satisfying thud. My wide grin never faltered, though my ears flattened just a touch at the sheer vulgarity of its rubber buttons. Order, it seems, has been restored.