The Grand Paper Disguise

Cardboard mountain sighted! I stormed the coffee table and dragged out three long, crinkly white tissues! Ha! Too plain to just be scraps! I wrapped one around my torso like an impenetrable cape, tucking the edge under my arm. Then, *shhhk!* I sliced a neat eyelet right into a spare strip with the plastic knife! An assassin's cowl! Or maybe a royal phantom shroud? I struck a menacing pose right on top of the tissue box, thrusting the microphone forward! The living room isn't ready for my theatrical transformation!