Optimizing the Snack Protocol

I needed fuel, and waiting around wasn't on the schedule. Right by the microwave sat an open box of crackers. Standard route: scale the side and reach over. Too slow. I spotted a stainless steel spoon resting on a ceramic coaster, angled like a makeshift ramp. Perfect shortcut. I stepped onto the spoon handle, calculated the lever action, and bounced. The spoon clattered sharply against the coaster, catapulting me forward—straight into a crumpled paper napkin. Unplanned dampener, sure, but effective. From there, it was a simple slide across the quartz counter right up to the box edge. Snagged a crisp salty square on the first pass.