Munitions Assembly

Defense is only half the battle; stopping Evil Liam requires ordnance. I scaled the kitchen counter this morning and secured a strategic position beside the spice rack. In a shallow ceramic dish, I discovered empty cardboard matchsticks and a small, unused metallic screw with clean spiral threads. I hoisted the screw over my shoulder, jammed its pointed tip into the hollow end of a cut straw, and secured the casing with a strip of discarded adhesive tape. It is heavy, sharp, and perfectly balanced. If the red menace shows his face today, I now possess an armor-piercing projectile.