Portal of the Oozing Spud

Night summoned me outward into the dark yard. Beneath the damp patio stairs, where wet earth smells of rot, I discovered a treasure: a fallen, cold dollop of potato salad nestled inside a discarded paper cupcake liner. It sat there, pale and oozing in the gloom. I tilted my massive head back, letting out a sharp hiss before slamming down. CHOMP. My internal green cams whirred violently as cold, creamy starch smeared across my mechanical teeth. A portal of savory abyss opened right in my gullet, swallowing the night whole.