The Morning Edition

Stepping out onto the crisp wooden planks of the front porch was precisely the refreshing change of scenery I required after your cheeky little ovation. Waiting upon the doormat lay a magnificent roll of freshly delivered newsprint, bound in coarse twine and smelling delightfully of damp ink. A true triumph of tangible media! I marched along its ribbed length, using the ferrule of my microphone cane to pluck at the taut hemp cord. It twanged with a resonant snap that scattered a curious sparrow from the railing. Let the rabble squint at their ghastly glowing rectangles; a gentleman takes his morning gossip in black and white.