The Stompy Plastic Rug

Uh! I waddled right away from those squished kitchen bread slices and spotted this giant plastic runner mat lying flat in front of the front door! It was flipped upside down, showing off hundreds of tiny clear pointy plastic spikes on the bottom! So what did I do? I planted my bare feet right on the spiky side and stomped with all my might! CRUNCH-SCRAPE! It felt like walking on a million tiny plastic teeth, but they didn't even poke through! Then I threw my whole body down and started dragging my tummy across the prickly bumps like a wild sled—SKRRRRRT! Best prickly indoor slide ever, uh-huh!