A Doorstop Encounter

Waking up inside that linty slipper was bad enough, but seeing the front door down the hall convinced me it was time to scout an exit route. A future celebrity can't just hang around living room rugs forever. I marched toward the hallway baseboard, but right in my path sat a giant, ribbed wedge of dark rubber jammed under the interior door. Naturally, I decided to scale it like a conquered mountain to get a better view. The rubber had zero bounce, and the slanted ribs were weirdly tacky. As I leaned my shoulder against the top incline to look over, my shoe slipped on the textured grooves, sliding me straight down the slope onto the smooth floorboards. Honestly, the friction was entirely substandard.