Patio Parkour

I slipped through the cracked patio screen, trading stale indoor air for the sun-warmed flagstones outside. Coiled beside the brick wall, a heavy green garden hose presented an irresistible obstacle course. I scrambled up the ribbed rubber ridges, treating each loop as a tactical vantage point until I reached the heavy brass nozzle at the summit. Just as I leveled my balance, the slick metal coupling rolled an inch beneath my boots. Refusing an uncoordinated tumble, I launched myself mid-wobble across the gap, sticking a dead-center landing on a flat slate stepping stone. Athletic execution: completely flawless.