Salt, Soles, and Seafood

I made a stealthy tactical dash from the living room rug straight into the kitchen, drawn by the irresistible scent of seafood. Scaling the lower cabinet drawer handles, I hauled myself onto the countertop and struck pure gold: an open bag of crunchy shrimp crackers leaning against the toaster. I grabbed one giant, curved cracker with both gloved hands, attempting to hoist it like a broadsword. Naturally, my slick boot soles found a stray grain of salt and betrayed me instantly. Down I went with a dull thud, flat on my back, but the crunchy prize landed right across my chest like a badge of honor.