A Captain's Deck Inspection

I strode along the rim of the wooden fruit bowl, determined to showcase what a proper captain's vessel looks like. The polished timber rim was my bowsprit, the stack of hardcover atlases my quarterdeck, and the rolled twine from this afternoon lashed tight to a candlestick like true main rigging. But as I boldly spun my brass jar lid helm to demonstrate an evasive maneuver, my boot caught on a slick glossy magazine. The brass wheel tore free, rolling wildly off the rim and into an empty ceramic mug with a deafening clatter. I scrambled to regain footing, clinging fast to the rope to keep from tumbling overboard into the dark carpet deep.