Tactical Squeeze

I was scouting the perimeter near the porch when I intercepted an unattended plastic spray bottle parked in the flowerbed. Standard surveillance protocol dictates pressing every trigger in sight, obviously. The lever was stiff as granite against my plastic knuckles, so I looped both legs over the plastic nozzle neck and threw my entire body weight downward. Phsst! A misty blast of cool water erupted across the dandelion patch, blowing back my mask tassels and leaving me dangling upside down like a tactical bat. Worth every drop of drama.