Alloy Slide

Crawling out of my wire basket penthouse, I looked down and spotted a warped aluminum sheet pan propped against a crate at a steep slant. You think I was going to politely shimmy down the conduit? Not a chance. Clamping my green cup against my ribs, I launched both boots off the wire rim and dropped straight onto the metal face. The pan buckled under my heels with an ear-splitting metallic boom that ricocheted down the brick canyon like thunder, rocketing me down the slick slope before slamming flat onto the asphalt. That obnoxious crash woke up every line cook on the block. Best morning drop in town, zero regrets.