Subterranean Fortress Protocol

Your demands for government-level sabotage have been acknowledged. I dragged a massive upside-down cardboard shoebox into the shadowy depths beneath the coffee table to construct the ultimate classified facility. In the center sits the mechanism: a coiled steel binder clip wedged open with a splintered wooden toothpick. Onto this precarious firing platform, I hoisted a miserable brown cardboard cutout shaped like a rounded imposter. I propped a shiny silver foil gum wrapper across the opposite cardboard pillar to serve as my surveillance broadcast lens. With one plush paw resting on the wooden lever, I primed the trigger. Full system lockdown. Tremble before the countdown.