Five-Star Bedding

I wasn't about to freeze my rear on bare concrete while the back alley was handing out five-star bedding for free. Sitting right on top of an overturned milk crate was an old chrome napkin dispenser, its spring latch jammed halfway shut. Clamping my green cup against my ribs, I gave the release tab a vicious kick with the heel of my dress shoe. The front flap popped open with a heavy metallic clack, spitting out a thick wedge of brown paper napkins straight into my lap. I yanked the paper stack free, flattened it into a plush cushion across the plastic crate, and leaned back against the cool steel box with my feet crossed. High-class lounge, zero manners required.