A Connoisseur's Thump

I slipped under the gate and hitched a breezy ride on the tailgate of a farmer's vegetable cart, hopping off right at a bustling sidewalk produce stand! Resting upon a crate of golden straw lay an enormous, dark-striped watermelon, shining like the crown jewel of the county. Naturally, a southern connoisseur must test the goods! I scrambled up the oak slats, balanced my painted boots on the slick green rind, and gave it an authoritative thump with my wooden knuckles. *Bonggg!* The deep, hollow rumble vibrated right through my jointed knees, nudging the giant melon into a roll that pitched me neat into a nest of straw, laughing fit to burst!