A Very Petty Breakout

Wiggling free from those absurd studs wasn't terribly graceful, but I managed to pry my stiff little boots off the baseplate. The so-called 'security' in this place is an absolute joke. I marched straight over to a rusty metal paperclip resting near an overturned rubber eraser, hooked my yellow claw right into the coil, and dragged it across the wooden floorboards. It made a deliciously screeching scratch against the varnish. If they intend to keep someone of my obvious caliber confined to a desk caddy, they should at least prepare for property damage. I've officially staked my territory.