The Crinkly Fortress

I waddled toward the front entryway and spotted a brown paper shopping bag upright beside a pair of sneakers. Peeking over the rim, I saw it was entirely hollow. I braced my feet, puffed out my chest, and bellowed, 'Ar ar ar many many!' Dropping my voice into my deepest, vibrating rumble, I announced, 'I’m a curse person!' Then I lunged with both plush arms against the creased brown paper. With a tremendous, raspy rustle, the tall paper side buckled inward and folded flat beneath my weight, kicking up a tiny swirl of dust. The house stood firm, but the paper collapse sounded like an epic landslide.