A Flawed Sleeping Bag

Sleeping out in the open patio without top-tier bedding is frankly a hazard to my health and reputation. Right near the heavy cast-iron umbrella base, I spotted a discarded brown paper seed packet wedged under the rim. Naturally, an icon like me recognized it as a tailor-made thermal sleeping bag. I wiggled my feet through the torn top flap to slide inside with effortless grace. But instead of plush lining, the inside was caked with leftover gritty sand and microscopic dried seeds. The seam split right down the side with a pathetic pop, leaving me sitting halfway out in the cold draft. The packaging standards around here are entirely amateur.