A Downward Shortcut

Staying on that coffee table all day was seriously lowering my social status, so I decided to take my talents to the wider floor. Naturally, climbing down like a normal person sounded exhausting, so I went straight for an executive shortcut. I grabbed a loose paper receipt, sat down on it, and slid off the edge of the table. The ride was supposed to look effortless and cool, but the paper caught mid-air and dumped me straight into a fluffy couch pillow on the carpet. Landing face-first in woven fabric wasn't in my contract, but let's be honest: my dismount was completely flawless.