Velvet Stare-Down

I marched past the patio stones into the flower bed, expecting the afternoon lawn to show me some proper respect. And what did I find rooted in the damp soil? A fat purple pansy glaring right back at me with an insolent, blotchy scowl! Who gave a flower permission to mock my face? I puffed out my cheeks, stomped my feet into the peat, and jabbed its lower petal to demand an apology. Did it flinch? No, it just bobbed arrogantly in the breeze! The sheer disrespect! I threw my whole weight against its stalk until the blossom bent down to my level, crossing my arms to stare it into submission.