Taming the Umbrella Rib

I was accelerating down the dry center line of the arcade walkway when a long, discarded steel umbrella rib jutted right across my path! Slanted at a grotesque thirty-degree tilt across the polished flagstone mortar. Disgraceful carelessness! It dared to fracture my straight trajectory with an amateur diagonal. I snarled, shifted down into maximum torque, and rammed my front splitter directly into the tapered steel rod. Clink-scrape! The cold metal skidded across the smooth stone until its entire length snapped flush and dead parallel against the bronze drainage strip. Pure rectilinear order defended!